My Kids are Driving Me Crazy

If my many fans (lol) haven’t noticed I have not been posting as much as I’d like.  Don’t cry, I’m here, we are all okay, I just haven’t been very inspired.  I like writing short funny little pieces about my family, my business or just great deals.  However the kids have banned together and have decided I am public enemy number 1.  Yes even the baby.  Why they have all turned on me, I’m not exactly sure.   But there has been a battle in this house and it is 3 against 1 1/2.  (Hubby is here less than half the time I am so I think I’m being liberal in giving him the 1/2.)

Last Monday, I informed the animals, oops I mean children that we had to get the house in order.  I know, how unreasonable of me.  My grandmother will be released from the hospital soon and she is staying with us for a while to get back on her feet.   A lot of work has to get done.  It’s as if I asked the “children” to get down on all fours and scrub the house from top to bottom.  Immediately the whining began.  Can I tell you how much I HATE whining!  So I ignore them and just start picking up.

After an hour of picking up, I notice as usual, I am the only one picking up.  I head into the playroom, my upbeat fun self.  Only to find my sweet little baby girl has created  a “marker masterpiece”. (No not the “Color Wonders” or even the “Erasable”.  I know that’s the only kind of marker that should be in my house with a baby.  But somehow with a house full of artists, that is just not realistic.  If there is one Sharpie in this house, Nina will sniff it out like a bloodhound.  My baby is an artistic mastermind!   Now she wasn’t in there alone.  Her two older brothers ages 10 and almost 8 were in there as well.  When I screamed,  “OMG weren’t you guys watching her?!!!”  I was looked at like I was the crazy person and this was totally acceptable.  It was as if no one noticed a thing.  Many other events like this have happened this week.  Boys running through the house knocking over the dogs water bowls and just leaving a pond in the kitchen.  For one of us (usually me) to slip on.  Fighting and bickering over the most ridiculous things like lines from (stupid)  movies.  The baby, heading into the “terrible two’s tantrum” stage.  She’s decided if I don’t let her have a crayon or marker (or anything else that she wants) she will just bash her head into the wall.  Hmm maybe she’s onto something?

So I did what any veteran parent would do.  I Googled “my kids are driving me crazy”.  I found these tips, what do you think?

Problem #1: My kids don’t listen to me  To expect that kids will listen to you perfectly all the time is an irrational thought. Kids don’t listen and attend to things in the same way that adults do. They can be intensely focused on the activity they’re involved with. Kids will often need you to repeat things a number of times in a patient, pleasant tone. And yes, your job is to be very patient with them.

Of course, be patient with them, very patient.  Hmmm well that is how I started out.  It seems that when I am being patient with them, they gasp don’t have any reaction.  Kind of a blank, what language are you speaking type of look.

It is often the “parental” tone of parents’ voices that is part of the problem when kids don’t listen. After all, who wants to be lectured constantly about what to do? If things still don’t work, take action—kids will respond to action much better than they will to words.

Does it really matter if they “want” to be lectured?  If they just did it I wouldn’t have to lecture.  Took action and they were very happy to see I was the one doing all of the work!  2 pts kids 0 pts  Mom.

Problem #2: My kids aren’t respectful—they talk back and argue too much

One of the problems with not having obedient kids anymore is that kids feel more freedom to speak their mind. This can be irritating, but it’s far better than obedient kids who do what they’re told out of fear. Really?  I kind of like instilling fear.  And I like the idea of an obedient kid who does what they are told out of fear.  Sorry.

If your child talks to you in a disrespectful way, you have choices. One choice is to be angry with them and to actually create more of the very behavior that you dislike. Getting angry when your child talks back to you is a great example of creating your own problems.
A better choice is to ask them what’s bothering them in a compassionate way. Kids will often take out their feelings on someone who they feel safe with—you! And remember that you can tell them in a calm and firm manner that it’s not OK to talk to you that way.

Maybe I am just a mean old b*%tc% but how can you not get angry if a child is disrespecting you?  I believe anger is an emotion that children must see and experience.  Pretending anger is not an emotion is just not realistic.  At least not in my house.

While it’s easy to point fingers at your kids, remember the old saying: “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”     Parents who attend to their own issues first will find far fewer “rotten apples” in their tree.

Okay, Okay, I know I should be using my inside voice.  It just seems as if no one hears me when I do.  I know my constant yelling is affecting the baby, as she is always yelling at someone or something.  OOPS!  So I will give it a try.  Today I will be a patient, non screaming, happy go lucky mommy.  I will let you know how horribly it fails tomorrow!  In the meantime any helpful hints you may have, do share!

Find more tips here:  http://www.markbrandenburg.com/25_secrets.htm

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dawn
    Apr 09, 2011 @ 18:44:33

    I have 4 boys- I LOVED this blog post! I would love to trade link love and put your link up on my page if you ever want to do something like that. I hope *someday* to be half as good at blogging as you are. ❤

    Reply

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